We get a Sick Satisfaction from Looking at These Terrible Disney Bootleg Toys
Bootlegs are a constant source of fascination for us here at Gemr. We like to support the real companies, even if they cost a bit more, but sometimes it’s hard to tell a real figure from a fake. Other times… like these… it’s really, really, really easy to tell the difference. These Disney bootlegs take the guesswork out of buying fakes, and take us to the realm of WTF.
Magic World Snow
Most bootlegs make at least some effort to get the look of the series right. This one…well, at least they got the eye color right? That’s something…. and Ana’s dress is kinda okay. We’re a little surprised that both of the girls got their hair dyed, or that Elsa had decided to wear pigtails. We don’t know why, but there’s something about their expression that feels a little…frozen. It makes them look like Arendelle’s mean girls. I guess we’ll just have to let it go.
Mister Bear and Miss Bear Oil Pastels
Do these “bears” look familiar to you, too? We feel like we’ve seen them somewhere before. We can’t quite put our white glove covered finger on it. Maybe it’s that pink ribbon on Miss Bear, or maybe it’s the red pants with yellow buttons on Mister Bear. I guess we’ll never figure it out.
You know what makes a car cooler? WHEELS! And do you know how you make the coolest car to ever race even cooler? MORE WHEELS! Now no one will ever beat Racing McQueen ever again! More wheels means he’s UNSTOPPABLE!
Super Heroes Avengers New Arrival!!
We don’t remember these Marvel Avengers! Is that… The Thing? And Kingpin maybe? Oh yes and our favorite Avenger: Buzz Lightyear! He sure does a lot to aid his pals in fighting threats to the universe…or maybe just the playroom.
Everyone knows that Mickey can transform into a truck to hide his true form– a robot mouse! We totally remember the old Disney cartoons where he and his pals the Transformers fought the Decepticons for the future of Earth… wait a minute! That never happened! We’ve been had!
Mighty Muscle Goofe
Our favorite WWE star finally has his own action figure! Mild mannered buff Goofe gets in the ring and decimates this opponents with a smile and a “Hyuck!” Just look what he’s doing to a super swol Pluto on the card! Honestly, this figure makes us laugh too hard to really be all that mad.
Winner Mouse and Friends
Um…. what? Something is really wrong with Mickey. It could be the ragged ears, or the sharp teeth, but it’s probably the red eyes that do it. This thing is messed up. Were they trying to invent were-Mickey? Zombie-Mickey? We don’t know– and we don’t want to find out.
Bear of the Interest
We are too freaked out to really figure out what’s going on here. From the hellish glowing eyes to the unnerving jaw, we don’t know where we should be looking. We do know we don’t want to be left alone in a room with it. We’re pretty sure it’s possessed.
Where Do We Even Start?
This is a whole picture of terrible Disney bootleg toys. Puff the bear in his famous crop top. Minnie? Is that you? Also that one on the left is taking the LEG in bootleg a little too seriously. It looks like a cryptid of some kind. We hope it never leaves its hook, or we’re all in danger.
Yeah…we don’t have much to say about these. We don’t like looking at them. We don’t want to think about them. They already haunt our nightmares, and now they will haunt yours, too! It’s those lips, and those teeth, and those soulless eyes. Nope.
Honorable Mention: Mockbusters
Sure they aren’t toys, but they still belong on this list. There are too many of these to talk about all of them, but we feel they deserve a special place in this discussion. These are movies that come out and look suspiciously similar to Disney titles. They are a very obvious ripoff, but still they pop up around the time of every major Disney release. Guaranteed to confuse parents and disappoint kids, they are truly the worst of all bootlegs.