The closer we get to May 10th, the more excited we become. To pass the time, we’ve been analyzing the Detective Pikachu trailers try and glean more about what to expect from this new Pokémon world. We can’t help but love the rich world they are creating here. For the most part, the world looks like it fills all our “what if Pokémon were real?” fantasies. Yet there is a dark side to that world. Sure, it’s filled with magical monsters who have fantastic abilities and just want to be your best friend — but also, some of them are downright…terrifying.
Now, we’re not saying our own world lacks terrifying monsters (look up any deep sea animal — we recommend the big fin squid and the goblin shark for extra creepiness), but they mostly live in the oceans far from our sight. Nightmareish sea creatures aside, we don’t usually run into things which so obviously should not exist. So today we’re celebrating the darker side of the Pokémon world and talking about the 6 most unsettling Detective Pikachu Pokémon revealed in the trailers.
Now we’ve never been huge Loudred fans. First off, normal type Pokémon usually don’t make the cut on our teams — they typically don’t do as much as dual type Pokémon. Secondly — it’s the awkward teenage phase before you get to the much less unnerving design of Exploud. Loudred is just a weird middle phase. It’s the awkward teenager of the Pokémon World. For some reason, that is what they chose as their DJ back up for illegal Pokémon fights.
It wouldn’t be so bad…if not for the fleshy skin and weird lips. They just don’t look inviting or pleasant to be around. I guess if you need a lot of noise — they are great at it. And sure, not everyone can evolve their Pokémon all the way, but we wish they had.
We think the idea of a Ludicolo as a bartender is a pretty good one. They get stronger when they hear happy music after all — and bars are usually playing bangers. This means so long as the beat is good, they would be the perfect bouncer. But this thing looks like an uncomfortable duck monkey and this expression right here is why it made the list. We want to like it. We know it’s a fun guy looking for a good time. But also…it freaks us out. It just does. No amount of gentle coaxing will convince us it’s not unsettling. Hopefully it is better when we see the movie, but for now — consider us not won over.
This was not what we expected. Aipom has always been a smiley little happy hand monkey. Which — now that we think about it — is kind of unsettling in itself. But then we remember monkeys are vicious and get into horrible fights, and we aren’t so surprised by how they chose to portray the little Pokémon. We think it’s the uncomfortably human teeth that really set it off. Monkeys are freaky enough with sharp teeth; make those chompers human, and we’re tapping out.
Nothing about Machamp has ever been comforting. From those four arms to the fact that it doesn’t actually wear a loincloth (it’s Pokémon canon that its skin just looks like that (if you didn’t know, we’re sorry to break it to you)). If you put one in the middle of the street with all those arms, and its weird flesh underwear? We’re going to say no thank you. The cops and construction workers can keep Machamp all to themselves. We’re good with sticking to cuter Pokémon; or at least ones that aren’t so humanoid.
Where do we ever start with this bit of horror? Lickitung was always sort of uncomfortable. It’s super long tongue made it feel really out of place…and like something you didn’t want to keep around. Well, the realistic style of Detective Pikachu took the unsettling factor up to 11. From its rubbery pink porous skin to the disturbing detail they put into its disgustingly human tongue, we do not like looking at it. But because we had to see it — so do you.
Our response to Mr. Mime, even in Gen One, has always been a resounding “NO!” When someone brings it up, we immediately break into the Monsters Inc. song “Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me!” It’s that bad. And then. THEN Legendary Pictures had the audacity to make it realistic. That earlier “no” doubled in strength and became a “NOPE!!!” We want them to cut this entire scene — because it makes us so uncomfortable watching this Pokémon exist with real actors that it makes us scared to enter the theater on May 10th. Please, please, let its time on screen be short.