This Nintendo Direct kicks off April with a bang!
Well, someone at the Nintendo headquarters is getting fired.
In a move that shocked the gaming community, the official Nintendo Youtube Account accidentally aired a 60 minute Nintendo Direct that apparently wasn’t supposed to go live. The video was taken down within minutes of airing, and mirrors of the video are being struck with copyright strikes left and right. It’s unclear when this direct was supposed to air, but some speculate it could have been Nintendo’s E3 conference. It’s impossible to say for sure.
Fortunately, your friends at Gemr were able to catch the Direct before it was taken down, which means we can show you the 10 best games that were revealed during this April surprise. Grab the popcorn and check out these fan dreams come true!
10: Sonic Adventure 3
It’s been over 15 years since Sonic Adventure 2, and Sega is finally giving fans what they want with the announcement of Sonic Adventure 3. The game is slated to adhere to the beloved series’ roots with 10 action packed levels featuring Sonic the Hedgehog, and 30 other levels featuring 7 brand new original characters.
The Nintendo Direct showcased Jazz the Bulldog, who transforms the game into a Madden-style football simulator during his levels. Fans are saying it already looks better than that Werehog thing or whatever it was in Sonic Unleashed.
9: Persona 5: Perfect For Switch Edition
After years of begging from fans, the critically acclaimed jRPG Persona 5 is finally coming to Switch this summer. The Nintendo Direct revealed Persona 5 was ranked #107 on a list consisting of games r/nintendoswitch most mentioned would be perfect on the Switch, which placed it in the top 1% of games listed.
Persona 5: Perfect For Switch Edition features all the content from the Playstation original, plus a new chat box that updates in real time every time someone on the internet mentions a game that would be just perfect on the Switch. Speaking of, dude, remember Age of Empires? How dope would that be on the Switch? Oh man, actually, remember Battletoads? I gotta write all these ideas down and send them to Nintendo.
8: Animal Crossing Warriors
Tecmo Koei is back with another great Nintendo crossover of its Dynasty Warriors series, this time featuring characters from Animal Crossing. Each level of this larger-than-life brawler will contain thousands of enemies to mow down using your wide arsenal of super moves, and also like 40 butterflies you can collect.
Every Animal Crossing character will be playable, except Tom Nook, whose insatiable greed turns him into a giant house-eating boss monster.
7: Final Fantasy XVI: Pulvis Et Umbra Sumus Crystarium
Square Enix’s new entry in the illustrious Final Fantasy series isn’t actually a game, but rather a multimedia franchise about “the concepts and myths surrounding crystals, but also ideas unrelated to crystals.” There are at least 10 games announced in the Pulvis Et Umbra Sumus Crystarium series, all of which will be handled by different directors with their own unique interpretation of what any of this means. As of writing, Square Enix has only completed a fancy looking logo and a meticulously rendered head of hair that took the company 4,000 combined hours to produce.
The first game in the Pulvis Et Umbra Sumus Crystarium series is slated to be released by 2024. Analysts expect the series to conclude in 2035 after 80% of the announced content has been canceled.
6: Super Dark Mario Souls
The Nintendo crossovers don’t stop! Mario is gearing up to face goombas, koopas, and eldritch abominations in From Software’s latest entry in the Dark Souls series. Super Dark Mario Souls is slated to combine the iconic run and jump gameplay of the Mario franchise with the tough as nails difficulty of Dark Souls, which basically means it’s a remake of the Japanese Super Mario Bros 2.
Hardcore lore fanatics can expect Dark Souls‘ minimalist dialogue and narrative to be intact for this game. For example, Mario won’t say “Yahoo!” but he will say “Ya.”
As the single most requested title for the Nintendo Switch, we’re pleased to announce Netflix will officially arrive on the console in November 2021. Expect all of the great shows you love to appear on this app, which means it will only contain reruns of The Office.
The Netflix app will only be available on the Switch Pro console, which has not been announced yet.
4: Skyrim 2
Skyrim, the legendary open world game that has never been part of a pre-existing franchise, is finally getting the sequel we’ve been begging for. The Nintendo Direct promised Skyrim 2 is more of everything we loved about the first game. So that means more open world, more draugr crypts, more horse glitches, more builds that aren’t as fun as playing a stealth assassin, and even 10,000 more instances of the line “Do you get to the cloud district very often? Oh what am I saying, of course you don’t.”
Skyrim 2 is a significant milestone in gaming history, as it will be the first open world game since whatever Ubisoft puts out the Tuesday before Skyrim 2 releases.
3: Kingdom Hearts: Re: 2.965 Final Climax Mix: 9/10 Union Cross Retell 6^7 Revision: Ending Day 3.14 Endless Cycles Act 2: Radiant Light Yozora Origin .8 = 4.83 Sora Days X 25 Roxas/Xion X Kairi XIII: In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth 3
This is a short story about Goofy trying on a new pair of shoes
2: Fire Emblem Echoes: Fates
Fire Emblem Echoes: Fates is the anticipated remake of Fire Emblem: Fates, the most beloved game in the Fire Emblem canon. The biggest issue this remake will fix is the way the original version was broken up into 3 games that were sold separately. Instead, Fire Emblem Echoes: Fates will be split into 5 distinct games, with 3 extra epilogue games and one “True Ending” game, all sold separately.
Each of these new titles will expand the world of Fire Emblem: Fates in ways that fans will be talking about for years to come. One game sports 26 new playable characters, and all of them are Camilla.
1: Mega Man Legends 3
I had to put Mega Man Legends 3 here to show that this list is actually an April Fool’s joke full of fake games that don’t actually exist.
Happy holidays everyone.